Zach McGuinness

Hometown: Rancho Palos Verdes, CA

Major: Accounting

Next Steps: Seminary

How would you describe your experience of community at St. Lawrence?
“St. Lawrence is my Galilee. It is the place where I met, fell in love with, and was called by name by Jesus. This all started because I attended the Koinonia retreat my freshman year to make some new friends. Countless faces come to mind when I think of my communal experience here. From those who originally welcomed me to those who became my best friends, to those who led me so well. Real friendship was revealed to me. This all led me to conversion into reality. The most vital component of my community at St. Lawrence is the effort of my closest friends who pushed me to find communion with Christ. I was pushed to no longer need St. Lawrence as a crutch for my Faith. For this, I am eternally grateful. I am now confident that I can find some semblance of community anywhere a Tabernacle resides.”

What would your life at KU look like without St. Lawrence?
I would not be living life at all. I recently reconnected with my best friend from high school and as we talked about what we would both be doing next year; my eyes were opened again to the reality in which God has spared me. I would be living for everything that is temporary and passes away. I would still be partying every weekend and pushing through school to put myself in a position to make as much money as I possibly could upon graduation. Nothing in my life would be real or lasting. All in all, I would still be living solely for myself and my own interests.

Who has been one of your greatest guides at St. Lawrence? How did they guide you?
The greatest guides at St. Lawrence have been Spiritual Direction and a few different men who have led me through FOCUS Discipleship. Murphy Tinio, Nathan Hall, and John Michael Lucido chose to be with me and lead me for my sake. Being with them showed me how to be Catholic and integrate this Faith into my whole life. It became tangible and practical. Most importantly, they loved me with an eternal aspect. If it were not for FOCUS, I would still be living in a hole of mortal sin. Once I had developed consistent prayer life, Spiritual Direction became a game-changer. Spiritual Direction with Sr. Elena is like steroids for your prayer life. She taught me how to talk to Jesus. I am not sure if there is anything more important than that. I would not have known to pray without FOCUS, and I would not have known how to pray without Sr. Elena.

How have you grown in interior freedom?
I have only recently tasted freedom for the first time. There was no space for freedom with the immense lack of hope I once had. I can offer two specific examples of freedom. Firstly, I am able to control my reactions to negative events. I lived (and sometimes still do) in the same fragile state as the majority of the world that allows events to control their perception of peace. This grace has only come because of and through prayer. Secondly, I have experienced the virtue of temperance for the first time in my life and am now able to have control over my decisions. I now have the decision of whether to keep my life for myself or to offer it to others.

Other thoughts you'd like to leave us with?
Towards the end of the past three school years, the reality of death seems to always come up in my prayer. I think this comes with the realization that the people I am surrounded by will not be with me much longer. This is especially pressing knowing that this time I will not be returning in the Fall. This can all be relieved with the hope of heaven – none of this matters otherwise. But I have frequently been concerned with how serious students at St. Lawrence approach the reality of heaven and hell. We are offered an amazing place to encounter Jesus at the top of this campus. The moment of conversion is always now (in different capacities), and we must seize it. The only way our conversion matters is if it is sustainable and lasts our whole life. As I get ready to leave Lawrence all I want to think about is seeing all of the faces here in heaven, but we have to be ready when that day comes.