Michelle Roesner
Hometown, State: Dallas, TX
Ministries involved with at St. Lawrence: : Extraordinary Minister (Eucharistic Minister), GoodCo. Outreach Team, participates in a Focus Bible Study, Alpha Lead Team (Host)
What would life at KU look like without St. Lawrence?: I have no idea, and I never want to! St. Lawrence has been a part of my family for as long as I can remember. The center has been working behind the scenes in my life since I was a baby. My Dad attended the SLC when he was here at KU, and likewise my uncles did as well. One of my uncles got married in the chapel and I was a flower girl in that wedding. Beyond childhood and my pre-existence (haha!), my cousin Rachel attended KU and was an integral part of the family at the SLC and now is in formation with the Sisters of Life!
Now, with all of this in mind, one might think that I chose KU and immediately knew I wanted to be a part of the SLC. However, I honestly forgot that the SLC existed when I chose to attend KU. Sure, every family member was telling me of the great joys of the St. Lawrence center, but I was brushing them off. I definitely wanted to get to know people at the center, but never in a million years did I expect for so much fruit to stem from this place. The Lord has blessed me with a family through the center and has shown me how to love and be loved even more fully than I had know before. Thus, I don’t even want to answer this question because I never want to see a day where KU doesn’t have St. Lawrence.
What is the biggest risk of faith you have taken lately? : The biggest risk of faith I have taken lately is to be my true and authentic self. I fell in love with myself this summer which was a huge step in my life - I had never loved myself before. Yet, I still didn’t know how to live in the real world without a mask. I had these walls built up to protect my heart from harm, and it was almost instinctual to start every relationship with the walls towering high.
When I came to KU and ultimately the St. Lawrence Center, I felt something in me switch. I just knew that I would be ok, and in one moment all of the walls came crashing down. In my love for myself, I stepped beyond the rubble and was met with a family of amazing people at the St. Lawrence Center. When I realized that they were welcoming me into their community despite my craziness and overzealous nature, I finally became aware of how Jesus loves me. The Lord has always seen my true heart and was building me for a great and fulfilling life!! All that He wanted me to do was break down my walls so that He could love me. Along with my newfound family and the Lord, I became fully aware of my purpose, to love everyone deeply and show them the love of the Lord through being a vessel for His work. In this, I found so many doors being opened for my by the Lord. I became an Alpha Host to my amazing little squad of gals, I am on GoodCo. Outreach Team and am constantly meeting new friends and inviting them slowly but surely into our SLC family, and I am becoming more solidified in my relationship with the Lord by giving my weeks over to Him!
Describe community. : AGHH!! Community is everything!!
I am a Sophomore transfer student from Texas Christian University in Fort Worth, Texas. Last year, I had no faith community and had to rely solely upon my desire for the Lord to keep me accountable in my attendance of mass and daily prayer life. This was hard... but, through this, I solidified my faith and proved to myself that even in times of zero outside stimulation, I will persevere in my relationship with the Lord.
With this foundation established, I still was lacking a community. Community is there to hold you to a standard, but also to accept you where you are at. It is almost like going to the gym with some buddies - you are constantly holding each other accountable in y’all’s work outs and routine but also not poking fun at the place they are at. At TCU, I didn’t have this gym clan, and I didn’t outwardly realize that I was lacking it but my heart was longing for it. Once I came to KU and basically threw myself into the St. Lawrence Center, I realized how deprived I was of community.
Every single day I am reminded of how awesome community is! I have been yelled at from two cars in the past week by St. Lawrence friends of mine, called out to by all of the peeps when I walk into the center and around campus, and am always singled out by my little loves from Alpha at mass. This is what I was longing for!
Because of my foundation of faith, I know that if community was stripped away that I would be ok. However, I never want to be without my community because these people make me a better human every single day. These friends help me to remember to love myself, love those around me, and most importantly love the Lord to my fullest capacity. Community is everything!
How have you grown in interior freedom? : There is no greater freedom than trusting the Lord. This semester, a huge theme in my prayer life has been trust. I have needed to trust in Him more than ever. I am at a place in my life where I don’t have to fight my way through life anymore and I am not used to this. My whole childhood was filled with bullying and hardships and the only hope that I had was my family. I saw the Lord in them and they loved me (and continue to love me) like He loves me. In them I found strength and I had to fight against the evils of this world every single day.
This is the first year that something really bad has not happened at school. I have finally gotten to a place of peace, yet I need to know how to rest in this. I am conditioned to do everything for myself but the Lord lately has been telling me to relax in Him and know He has it under control.
In this big wave of life, God is asking me to stop fighting and pushing further into the sea. Instead, He is asking me to relax and be carried away in a greater love and peace (thanks Kate Blaze for the analogy). This takes a whole lot of trust but also gives so much freedom. I am finally riding the wave, and this has given me so much freedom to love more fully. I am so overjoyed in this freedom!
Where do your deepest commitments lie? : This past week in mass, Father Mitchell told us that if he were to look at our weekly schedules that he could tell us what we truly love. I started laughing to myself in that because I imagined my planner and all I saw was SLC this, SLC that!! I am at the St. Lawrence Center basically every day of my life. Even if it is only for five minutes in the Mary garden, I am always checking in with my God. Here is where the motivation comes from:
A question asked in mass the other day by Father Mitchell was what would we say when we see God’s face? My gut response was, “I already have!”
Every single day I see the people around me and since we are all made in the image and likeness of God, I see Him in them!! Also, adoration is always poppin’ in the chapel (even if the blessed sacrament is not exposed) so we can always go and say hello. Knowing that God is all around me, I can fully commit myself to Him. This commitment in my life plays out through my connection to the SLC. There is so much beauty in knowing His presence in people because even when they are struggling, you can see Jesus’ face shining through.